I have realised I cannot be Muslim.
That feeling of certainty, of peace, has finally come to me – I didn’t want it to be like this, but I’ve been living a kind of hell for the past few weeks and it just feels so good to be out of it that I feel nothing but gratitude.
This whole long episode is like a fire that has refined me and I’ve come out purer, stronger, knowing much more clearly what I believe and what I don’t. I feel much closer to God and much more ready to trust God. I am not afraid of life any more at this point.
I am shocked that certainty has come so swiftly, but this is what happens when all the pieces suddenly slot together. When all is right with your head, then all is right with your heart too.
Not much has really changed, I still have much the same beliefs, and the same values. What was genuine has stuck. But I’m seeing life in colour again. It’s like when I left church – I can see beauty in the world again now.
I will explain more soon. My very next post will be about personal repercussions, and will be password-protected with a NEW password. If you would like the password, email me or leave a comment with your email address.